My Big Fat Tech Challenged Italian Family

This is a for real text sequence between the women in my family that took place within about 5 minutes. No, I did not misspell words as I was transcribing from my phone to this document. I accurately relayed the actual texts. I cannot express to you the chaos that it is to be part of this crazy crew of Italian women. Can you imagine our family gatherings?

Meet the Cast

DS: Denise Scimeca. Aunt to Bethany, Sharon, and Janna. Younger sister to Angela and Rose Ann.

AI: Angela Iozzo. Aunt to Bethany, Sharon, and Janna. Middle sister of Denise and Rose Ann.

RE: Rose Ann Elton. Mom to Bethany, Sharon, and Janna. Older sister of Denise and Angela.

BS: Yours truly. Older sister of Sharon and Janna. Niece to Denise, Angela. Daughter of Rose Ann.

SS: Sharon Sidell. Middle sister of Bethany and Janna. Niece to Denise and Angela. Daughter of Rose Ann.

JH: Janna Howard. Younger sister of Bethany and Sharon. Niece to Denise and Angela. Daughter of Rose Ann.

 

Act 1:

DS: How about for girls do a scarf exchange (dressy) and boys do a tool/Home Depot exchange. $10 max. Or just couples $20 gift. Has to be something me and Erica could use too.

AI: I hate scads

RE: What are scads

DS: How about a book them

AI: Scarfs

BS: We don’t have to do anything for adutls. I don’t need a gift.

AI: Yuk

DS: I want to

AI: Ok. but a little nicer white elephant then?

DS: I hate whit elephany…no wsny junk.

AI: not used

BS: Yes. agreed. not used. Except the doll.

DS: Fine then $20 a couple gidy

DS: Gidt

DS: Gifylt

AI: ?

DS: ugh gift

AI: give it up

BS: stop drinking

DS: my nails are wet

AI: who has the doll? what time after dinner

SS: nah

SS: couple gift

AI: she can’t think straight. she’s in love

AI: it’s making her dizzy

DS: funnnny

AI: What time is dessert

DS: If you guys rmbarrss me I’m gonna be mad

BS: This is too complicated of a discussion to have via text. This needs a conference call.

AI: No. I”m watching story room

AI: Storybrook

RE: Sleeping beauty the original disney one is on the family channel right now

RE: ok. I’m  not on this group text except angs responses

AI: is it going to be on again

RE: no, but watch it.

AI: what’s wrong with your phone??

DS: hmmm maybe something wrong with your phone

RE: I remember seeing it when I was little at the show

SS: Pirates booty is really hood

SS: good

DS: how you feeling Bethany

AI: I can’t. I’m watching stroybrook

RE: Group texts says Ang denise bethany sharon and Jamna. I dont’ see anything until Ang responds.

AI: Pirates booty is that a movie

DS: Watch real housewives of atlanta

DS: Apollo be going to jail

SS: It’s good

SS: It’s food

AI: ha

RE: ha it’s a snack

AI; I see your name sissy

DS: did you get my text Friday

DS: peace out I’m going

AI: k

AI: oh that popcorn?

RE: the first comment I see is angs about scarfs

AI: yes

RE: I just want to know why I’m not getting them

AI: you have bad phone service. you need Verizon

RE: this is a brand new phone

JH: what is going on

AI: I said phone service not phone…helllo

AI: your mom doesn’t get her texts

SS: Can you delete yourself from a group message?

RE: Want to know and bed not answering if I was in orginal text so I’ll know if something is really wrong

AI: I see your name on the group

RE: Wow

RE: didn’t get anything til scarf comment

AI: I can’t Johns phone is from 1990

RE: You can’t what?

AND………..SCENE.

 

 

Author: bethany

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