I was thinking last night about what my biggest fear in life is. I was reading a fiction novel, and the character lost her best friend, her leg, and her marriage while fighting in Iraq. For someone reason the material in the book caused me to contemplate my biggest fear. s it losing a loved one? Is it not having my physical, emotional, or financial needs met? Is it being alone? Is it losing all I have in terms of material possessions? Is it my boys not choosing Christ? Is it the breakdown of my marriage? I tried to unpack all the layers of fear, and I came to the conclusion that my biggest fear in life is that I won’t accomplish what God has called me to do. My biggest fear is that I will fail God. That I won’t be the mother that He’s called me to be, that I’ll fail as the wife that He’s asked me to be, that I’l fail in reaching people for Him, that I’ll fail in leading and serving in the ministry.
When it comes down to it, my biggest fear is coming up short of what God has assigned for me. But before I could even fully process that fear, and entertain all that it means, I felt God speak to me instantly. He said, “If I call you to it, I will equip you for it”. Hebrews 13:21 says that God will equip those He calls. He will equip me to be a mom, a wife, a leader, and most importantly, a follower of Christ. I love that the Holy Spirit didn’t allow me to wallow in my fear. I love that when I came to terms and identified what my biggest fear was, He quickly calmed me and dissolved that fear. I am so thankful that I don’t have to feel overwhelmed by what God has called me to do or be…for if He calls me to it, He will equip me for it. I carry that promise with me today.