Once every 11 years…

Daddy and I decided to go away for 24 hours yesterday. Well, I decided that we needed a night away, and I convinced Daddy to rearrange his schedule in order to do this. A few years ago a wise friend once told me of the importance of having “huddles” in a marriage. This is a time when you and your spouse gather to discuss strategy, goals, and the direction regarding your family.  With this new chapter in our life and ministry, I decided that before things got too chaotic, Daddy and I needed to “huddle” and get on the same page.

We went to St.Charles, MO to enjoy the historic district. Ideally, it was supposed to be the perfect atmosphere to walk down aged brick streets while visiting shops both new and old. The problem: a torrential downpour. I tried not to let this storm put a “damper” on my mood, but I could feel myself getting disappointed that my expectations for the romantic day were not materializing. That is where your dad is perfect for me: he is the eternal optimist, and sometimes his mood is contagious. It took one simple comment from him to make me laugh and to refocus my attention on the fact that it doesn’t matter where I am at or what I am doing, it matters most who I am with.

So, do you want to know the comment that lightened my mood? We were getting ready to get out of the car, and Daddy looked at me and said, “You know, I’m really glad I married you.” I asked why fully expecting to hear a list of all of my good qualities, but instead he replied, “Because you’re not going to be hideously ugly when you’re old.” HA! It’s exchanges like those that make my heart so glad I chose to commit my life to Daddy over 12 years ago.

I realized something about myself during our brief, wet, 2 hours in St. Charles. Daddy had a large golf umbrella, and we were both attempting to walk under it as we went from store to store. Sharing an umbrella requires coordination and cooperation.  It really does require the one who is holding the umbrella to be the leader. Our problem: Daddy was being a gentleman by holding the umbrella, but I was not being a good counterpart. I was walking too fast, or walking too far to the right, or randomly stopping to look at something in a store window. Basically, I realized that I am not a good follower. I saw a spiritual parallel in that moment-I just want to do what I want to do in life, and I expect God to go along with it and protect me from the elements along the way. Basically, I want to call the shots, while God follows me with the umbrella. Just a little convicting moment this weekend when the Holy Spirit nudged me and reminded me who truly is in charge.

Anyways, Daddy and I enjoyed our time together. We set new personal, family, financial, and ministerial goals. I literally wrote the goals down, and I wrote down ways to implement the goals, and ways that we can keep each other accountable to continue to strive for those goals.

I certainly see the need for “huddles’ in a marriage, and I tend to continue this habit. Other than that, Daddy and I just enjoyed one another’s company, and I need moments like these to refuel for the course ahead.



Author: bethany

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