College/Career “Do not awaken love before it is time”
“Do not awaken love before it is time..” (Song of Solomon 2;7, 3:5, 8:4, )
Three timesSolomon’s wife, and the object of his affections highlighted in the Song of Solomon, gives this advice to the young women in her life. When something is repeated 3x in a short book, it’s worth investigating and heeding.
Solomon’s wife knows the powerful force of love. She understands the blessings of intimacy with another and satisfaction that comes from loving someone with all of your being. However, she still tells the young women to wait. Love is wonderful, but it also requires a complete emotional and spiritual investment, which is why she advises them to not enter into a relationship prematurely. “Before it’s time”, indicates that there is a juncture in one’s life when the stage is set for the makings of a healthy relationship, but there is also a time when it is not. Just because you are a young adult and you can date, doesn’t mean you should date.
Using Pastor Andy Stanley’s principle of asking “In light of your past, present, and future, is it the wise thing to do?”, we examined the probabilty of having a successful relationship at this point in our lives.
Past: What do your past relationships look like? Why did they fail? Did you date with integrity and holiness? If not, have you changed? Are there patterns in your life that need to be broken before you can have a healthy and holy relationship?
Present: Are you stable? If you are in the midst of a 20 hr credit semester and working a full time job, you may not have the energy to invest in a relationship. If you are not emotionally secure, and are nursing wounds from hurts, you may need to go through a period of healing before you are open to another relationship. If you are not spiritually solid in your relationship with Christ presently, than you are not ready connect yourself to another person…that is a recipe for failure. EEkk. I know that may seem extreme, but it’s true.
Future: Are your plans for your immediate future conducive to a dating relationship? If you have dreams, chase them now. If you want to pursue various interests, do that now. Marriage is a beautiful institution, but it does limit the activities that you as an individual are free to explore. If have any inclination to see the world, or play video games until your fingers are numb, or go on an international shopping spree, by all means, indulge those desires before opening yourselves up to the possibility of a permanent relationship.
You’ve heard it said that “timing is everything”, and I do believe that to be the case with dating. You can meet the right person at the wrong time in your life, and the relationship will never take off. God’s sovereignty, coupled with your diligence in learning from your past, stabilizing your present , and solidifying your future can lay the foundation for love to be awakened in your life.